This one's been a long time coming.
I'm not trying to offend anybody or put them off from marriage or anything. I don't want anybody to think this is a bitter post at all. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I think marriage is awesome and beautiful and wonderful and everybody should be doin' it eventually. But the key word there is eventually.
I can't tell you how many of my friends I've seen get married/ engaged in the last year and a half since we left high school. I'll ballpark a dozen. And they're not all marrying each other or anything. I just have all these friends who are 18/19/20 getting married. I think it's awesome that they have found somebody who they love and with whom they wish to spend their whole lives. I think it's fantastic to see them so happy together, and even to see them be all gross and gushy (Sometimes. Seriously, calm that crap when I'm around. You're making me gag). But I just don't see the point in getting married so young. See, many of us didn't begin dating until we were 16, and probably didn't date seriously until we were at least 18. So that means you probably married the first or second person you ever really fell for. And so often they were only with their significant other for a little bit, usually 6-9 months before getting married. I can't even figure out all the cool things my phone can do in 9 months! I've had my phone a year and I'll still occasionally be like "Woah, my phone can do that? Dude that's AWESOME!" Or sometimes, I'll be like "Why can't my phone do this other thing I want it to do? What the heck? Jump on it developers." Any my phone has a freakin' instruction manual. You have no such luxury for your significant other. Chances are pretty good that even after a year, two years, or 5 years you will still be surprised by things that they do. Now obviously this can swing either way. You can find that they can do cool things likeorganize your contacts alphabetically or by importance make you breakfast in bed, have some interesting trait or story you didn't know, etc. But sometimes these attributes can rock marriages and could have been avoided had you dated them longer.
I'm not saying that this works for everything, or that dating for longer will alleviate all problems and your marriage will be perfect because you dated for a year or longer before you got married. I don't live in a fantasy world. Well, I do, but my passport into the real world is well stamped. All I'm saying is that rushing into marriage super young seems rather silly to me. It's like showing up to a party that starts at 10:00 promptly at 10:15. Then going in, looking around, and leaving the party at 11:00 before most people have even showed up.
You'll hear me rant and rave about dating. About how it's complex and girls are stupid and how I'm just gonna learn to reproduce asexually--yes like a flower-- but in some part of myself I actually like it. I like meeting girls and talking to them and learning what makes them different from other girls, from me, and from other people in general. I think it's an awesome prospect to be able to date a variety of people and learn things about them-- good or bad-- and see if my things line up with them. So far, no luck with the whole things-lining-up part (not a euphemism or double entendre. Even though it's a fantastic one), but the best part is I'm still young. I'm someone who probably won't even show up to the party until 11:45. Because my invitation said 11:00 instead of 10:00 and there was something really cool on TV until 11:30. So then between the drive and getting ready, I'm a little late. But fashionably so.
So to all you married people, you're awesome. You really are. You're fantastic examples to me of what love is in its purist sense. You guys make me happy and excited to be married, but not just yet. I want to travel. I want to see the world, and make life decisions for myself and get happy with me before I drag somebody else into this tornado of crazy I call my psyche. Although I am currently accepting tornado tour applications. Ladies.
I'm not trying to offend anybody or put them off from marriage or anything. I don't want anybody to think this is a bitter post at all. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I think marriage is awesome and beautiful and wonderful and everybody should be doin' it eventually. But the key word there is eventually.
I can't tell you how many of my friends I've seen get married/ engaged in the last year and a half since we left high school. I'll ballpark a dozen. And they're not all marrying each other or anything. I just have all these friends who are 18/19/20 getting married. I think it's awesome that they have found somebody who they love and with whom they wish to spend their whole lives. I think it's fantastic to see them so happy together, and even to see them be all gross and gushy (Sometimes. Seriously, calm that crap when I'm around. You're making me gag). But I just don't see the point in getting married so young. See, many of us didn't begin dating until we were 16, and probably didn't date seriously until we were at least 18. So that means you probably married the first or second person you ever really fell for. And so often they were only with their significant other for a little bit, usually 6-9 months before getting married. I can't even figure out all the cool things my phone can do in 9 months! I've had my phone a year and I'll still occasionally be like "Woah, my phone can do that? Dude that's AWESOME!" Or sometimes, I'll be like "Why can't my phone do this other thing I want it to do? What the heck? Jump on it developers." Any my phone has a freakin' instruction manual. You have no such luxury for your significant other. Chances are pretty good that even after a year, two years, or 5 years you will still be surprised by things that they do. Now obviously this can swing either way. You can find that they can do cool things like
I'm not saying that this works for everything, or that dating for longer will alleviate all problems and your marriage will be perfect because you dated for a year or longer before you got married. I don't live in a fantasy world. Well, I do, but my passport into the real world is well stamped. All I'm saying is that rushing into marriage super young seems rather silly to me. It's like showing up to a party that starts at 10:00 promptly at 10:15. Then going in, looking around, and leaving the party at 11:00 before most people have even showed up.
You'll hear me rant and rave about dating. About how it's complex and girls are stupid and how I'm just gonna learn to reproduce asexually--yes like a flower-- but in some part of myself I actually like it. I like meeting girls and talking to them and learning what makes them different from other girls, from me, and from other people in general. I think it's an awesome prospect to be able to date a variety of people and learn things about them-- good or bad-- and see if my things line up with them. So far, no luck with the whole things-lining-up part (not a euphemism or double entendre. Even though it's a fantastic one), but the best part is I'm still young. I'm someone who probably won't even show up to the party until 11:45. Because my invitation said 11:00 instead of 10:00 and there was something really cool on TV until 11:30. So then between the drive and getting ready, I'm a little late. But fashionably so.
So to all you married people, you're awesome. You really are. You're fantastic examples to me of what love is in its purist sense. You guys make me happy and excited to be married, but not just yet. I want to travel. I want to see the world, and make life decisions for myself and get happy with me before I drag somebody else into this tornado of crazy I call my psyche. Although I am currently accepting tornado tour applications. Ladies.
